This is a follow-up to Anna's entry today, so if you don't get it, you should probably read the post right below mine......
Ok, seriously, I just wanna frickin KICK A WALL. That doesn't sound too bad, but oh well. It's more appropriate than what I was gonna say that completely makes more sense on how much I hate what's goin on btween Anna and MC.
I trusted her!!!! Like, next to Anna, she was the next person I trusted. She tied with Kelly, actually, cuz ya know, Kelly, you're pretty damn awesome when you wipe away all that Jonas obsession ;D.
Now, this probably isn't helping Anna, but I was about to tell MC something, but this "incident" (HAH, can that be ANY MORE of an understatement?) that happened today just completely kept me from saying anything.
Well, at least Sierra was nice. She completely understands. But I felt so helpless! Cuz I was at band talking about MLIA and "That's what she said" and laughing and having an awesome time while my best friend's life was gradually creeping to a screwed over state of existence. And I'm in art, sitting next to her, and Anna can barely even explain, and she starts crying. I felt HORRIBLE! I couldn't even tell why she was crying, as in "Are you crying because people might think you're a desperate slut? Or just cuz you trusted MC?"
Now I completely feel messed up. You can't trust anybody. Because, you know, Sierra, and Mariah, and Lauren, they're AWESOME, but we all (I said all, I'm not denying myself) have bitchy, nasty sides. So sometimes, it's just you and your best friend. And of course, there are times when it's just you and internal struggle, as well, like what happened last spring with me. But I just hope it'll all get better.
I've got fencing tonight, and I'm just gonna let it all go, ya know? Maybe take it out on the wall targets, rant to my friends. ugh, I still have to start on Vocab 3 Column Notes.... well, I'll ask Josh, who always writes awesome Vocab sentences that usually involve me and Jonathan or Eric and Matt or somebody and crazy antics. He actually texted me saying he has some more sentences . Well..... I just hope it'll all get better, and MC FINALLY GETS THE MESSAGE! She was all, "Anna, what happened? Why are you crying?"
We both just stared at her, and I'm all, "Stuff happens."
And she's all, "whaaaat?"
So now, I just wait. and do my homework. And wait. And stuff. But mostly do homework and wait. haha, I'd snicker, but I'm too stressed out with this stuff.
And people say Secret Life is too stupid-dramatic.
~♥.♫.Spaninesapino.♫.♥
Showing posts with label crap. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crap. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Emotions Screw Me Over
"Hey dad!"
"Hey Anna! Did anything happen at school today?"
"no, not really-"
it's a good thing my dad doesn't have a lie detector embedded in me somewhere, otherwise it would've gone off like crazy at that last sentence. Nothing happened at all, sure! So, since the halloween dance, people have been talking about me and the tall guy (still not saying his name, tho i KNOW i already did). I already said how mad i wuz at sierra for coming onto him (does anyone have a better phrase i could put there?) so fast. i JUST SO HAPPEN to have a bit of a devious mind (THANK YOU ANNEL) to tell him some stuff that will most likely turn him away from dating her. that wuz last week. i REALLY regret saying that. SIERRA: I'M SO SORRY AND I KNOW THAT PROBABLY WON't HELP BUT WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF U WERE IN THIS SITUATION? PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT A DESPERATE WHORE. Think of it from my point of view:
I know a guy since summer, who happens to go to Resurrection, a school that goes to our dances.
i just might like him, but we're just friends.
we go to a dance, and ALL OF A SUDDEN everyone's asking me about him, all sorts of questions, half of which i can't answer.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, half the girls in my class like him, without even realizing that i might actually have fealings for him, which ur kind of crushing by flirting with him.
you dance with him.
you get someone else to dance with him.
you get his number.
you hug him, and YOU BARELY EVEN KNOW HIM.
think of how i might be feeling at this point. sad, distraught, angry, jealous? you guessed it. so what would you do if you were in that situation and people were slavering at the mouth just to meet this ONE GUY that i just so happened to know. people are pushing me out of the way to get to him. u would feel like i did, right? sad, angry, jealous. if you had the chance, you would probably do everything u could to get him away from those girls. even if whoever you were flaming found out, cuz it wuz worth keeping him. now you understand my point of view. lets get on with this story.
Monday: i tell Annel (my BEST FRIEND EVER!!!!) how i began to get the guy away from sierra. i KNOW i can trust her. someone with the initials MC is wondering what we're talking about, "what's your devious plan?" i promise to tell her tuesday. she looks completely into it, completely trustworthy. i go home sick during lunch, then post utter boredom (btw, in my boredom, i wrote 11 other poems yesterday). i email the guy (there was NOTHING about sierra in that email). do homework. eat. sleep.
Today: choir. first bell. english. literature. RECESS! during recess, i tell MC (who, btw, was a friend) my devious plan. completely harmlessly, she smiles in agreement and goes "so, did u do anything else, tell me!!!" so i say "ok, will asked how many guys like her and i said almost all the popular guys" which is almost completely true. i tell MC that i'll forward her the conversation. she swears on her life not to tell anyone. "you know you can trust me, anna!". recess bell rings. math. science. lunch.lunch recess. i hang out with MC cuz annel's in band and allison and felicia are in homework room. me and MC hang out with mariah, sierra, and lauren. somewhere between then and the end of lunch recess, someone is a rat, and when the last lunch bell rings, sierra's on the bench with her hand over her mouth with wide eyes just standing like that. she says "i hate you anna" like 3 times... we line up/ leave for art. on the way there, the wonderful lauren who i CAN trust says "MC told sierra that you told will that sierra _______________________________" mrs kirkland goes thru a whole conversation with the class about the right way to paint a picture of candy on a gingerbread house, while i'm feeling screwed cuz MC told sierra what my plan wuz. i tell annel what MC did while mrs. kirkland finishes her talk, and we begin working on a painting aka we all have time to talk cuz mrs. kirkland never pays attention to us. i explain more to annel, and we both can't believe MC would be so mean, and would act like a perfect angel and all sorts of crap. SHE LOOKED SO MUCH ON MY SIDE I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE WOULD FRIGGING DO THAT! WHAT THE F*CK!! i wuz just thinking my life is over my life is over i hate you MC i hate you i hate you i hate you etc. and i start crying. i couldn't help it. i felt so defeated. so cheated.tears poured out of my eyes. annel attempted to cheer me up, but then the guys came and were all "aww, what's wrong?" "is she okay?" "what's with anna?" which didn't help. after a while i stopped crying, some people asked me what was wrong, but i couldn't answer. it wuz easy to say sorry to sierra cuz she sits at my table and at that point i felt like my day was already bad enough, can it get any worse? and i honestly felt sorry. but if MC had come up to me while i wuz crying i would have seriously punched her in the face. but i say that a lot. end of story.
-Italapinexo <3
"Hey Anna! Did anything happen at school today?"
"no, not really-"
it's a good thing my dad doesn't have a lie detector embedded in me somewhere, otherwise it would've gone off like crazy at that last sentence. Nothing happened at all, sure! So, since the halloween dance, people have been talking about me and the tall guy (still not saying his name, tho i KNOW i already did). I already said how mad i wuz at sierra for coming onto him (does anyone have a better phrase i could put there?) so fast. i JUST SO HAPPEN to have a bit of a devious mind (THANK YOU ANNEL) to tell him some stuff that will most likely turn him away from dating her. that wuz last week. i REALLY regret saying that. SIERRA: I'M SO SORRY AND I KNOW THAT PROBABLY WON't HELP BUT WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF U WERE IN THIS SITUATION? PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT A DESPERATE WHORE. Think of it from my point of view:
I know a guy since summer, who happens to go to Resurrection, a school that goes to our dances.
i just might like him, but we're just friends.
we go to a dance, and ALL OF A SUDDEN everyone's asking me about him, all sorts of questions, half of which i can't answer.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, half the girls in my class like him, without even realizing that i might actually have fealings for him, which ur kind of crushing by flirting with him.
you dance with him.
you get someone else to dance with him.
you get his number.
you hug him, and YOU BARELY EVEN KNOW HIM.
think of how i might be feeling at this point. sad, distraught, angry, jealous? you guessed it. so what would you do if you were in that situation and people were slavering at the mouth just to meet this ONE GUY that i just so happened to know. people are pushing me out of the way to get to him. u would feel like i did, right? sad, angry, jealous. if you had the chance, you would probably do everything u could to get him away from those girls. even if whoever you were flaming found out, cuz it wuz worth keeping him. now you understand my point of view. lets get on with this story.
Monday: i tell Annel (my BEST FRIEND EVER!!!!) how i began to get the guy away from sierra. i KNOW i can trust her. someone with the initials MC is wondering what we're talking about, "what's your devious plan?" i promise to tell her tuesday. she looks completely into it, completely trustworthy. i go home sick during lunch, then post utter boredom (btw, in my boredom, i wrote 11 other poems yesterday). i email the guy (there was NOTHING about sierra in that email). do homework. eat. sleep.
Today: choir. first bell. english. literature. RECESS! during recess, i tell MC (who, btw, was a friend) my devious plan. completely harmlessly, she smiles in agreement and goes "so, did u do anything else, tell me!!!" so i say "ok, will asked how many guys like her and i said almost all the popular guys" which is almost completely true. i tell MC that i'll forward her the conversation. she swears on her life not to tell anyone. "you know you can trust me, anna!". recess bell rings. math. science. lunch.lunch recess. i hang out with MC cuz annel's in band and allison and felicia are in homework room. me and MC hang out with mariah, sierra, and lauren. somewhere between then and the end of lunch recess, someone is a rat, and when the last lunch bell rings, sierra's on the bench with her hand over her mouth with wide eyes just standing like that. she says "i hate you anna" like 3 times... we line up/ leave for art. on the way there, the wonderful lauren who i CAN trust says "MC told sierra that you told will that sierra _______________________________" mrs kirkland goes thru a whole conversation with the class about the right way to paint a picture of candy on a gingerbread house, while i'm feeling screwed cuz MC told sierra what my plan wuz. i tell annel what MC did while mrs. kirkland finishes her talk, and we begin working on a painting aka we all have time to talk cuz mrs. kirkland never pays attention to us. i explain more to annel, and we both can't believe MC would be so mean, and would act like a perfect angel and all sorts of crap. SHE LOOKED SO MUCH ON MY SIDE I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE WOULD FRIGGING DO THAT! WHAT THE F*CK!! i wuz just thinking my life is over my life is over i hate you MC i hate you i hate you i hate you etc. and i start crying. i couldn't help it. i felt so defeated. so cheated.tears poured out of my eyes. annel attempted to cheer me up, but then the guys came and were all "aww, what's wrong?" "is she okay?" "what's with anna?" which didn't help. after a while i stopped crying, some people asked me what was wrong, but i couldn't answer. it wuz easy to say sorry to sierra cuz she sits at my table and at that point i felt like my day was already bad enough, can it get any worse? and i honestly felt sorry. but if MC had come up to me while i wuz crying i would have seriously punched her in the face. but i say that a lot. end of story.
-Italapinexo <3
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